ALBUM REVIEW: You Are The Song That Humanized Me by Fader

By: Derek Spencer

I really don’t want to review this album. I’ve listened to 4 tracks and I just can’t summon the impetus. At least not yet. I’d like to start with some procrastination. Here is the submission email I received (with annotation) prompting the review of Fader’s 2013 release You are the Song that Humanized Me:

“Hi again, no problem about the donation, I like supporting independent art.[like the last 8 or so reviews published here, this submission has jumped the line by donating to my crowdfunder. This makes saying rude/mean/absurd/bad things about music harder, except not really because if they read my blog before donating then they should probably know what to expect. I mean, just read the manifesto] And now I get an album review; what a joy. Here is the original email I sent:

Hello. I recorded a full-length album of various styles/genres [boldfaced lie. this is one genre. Each song is unmistakably like the rest. Do not tell people this.] nearly two years ago [adding distance pt 1: I feel even less bad about saying bad things] and uploaded it to Bandcamp. It seems, from your blog, that you review anything that is sent to you. I would be very honored if you reviewed my album. [unnecessary flatter pt 1: I feel a little more bad about saying bad things]

Some background:
I recorded it when I was 16. [adding distance pt 2: I once again feel even less bad about saying bad things]
Every percussion sound on the album is from a chopped-up recording of me slapping objects in my bedroom. [this will only work if you’re really good]
The synthesizers were recorded by me mic-ing up a Casio keyboard, and putting effects on it. [fuck, you’re not really good, are you?]
The only program used was Garageband. [whelp]
I play every instrument on the album.  [naturally]
If you decide to review my album, you have my thanks, and the amusement of the hundred or so people who have listened to it[adding distance pt 3: the ol’ “is-it-a-self-deprecating-joke-or-a-humble-brag-?-?-?”] ! I have nothing to be ashamed of at this point [adding distance pt 4: okay man I don’t even really feel obligated to listen to the music anymore], so feel free to rip it apart in the dignified fashion you have for past submissions [look pal, there is absolutely nothing dignified about this blog. This whole thing is degrading for everyone involved], if you feel so inclined.
It is located on this Bandcamp page: [well now that you got me all rilled up I feel like I gotta listen]
Eliot Guerin”
This album is uncomfortable to listen to. My ears recoil into the safe shell of my skull as they fall under fire from a recently post-pubescent adolescent emulation of what I can only imagine are a father’s favorite folk-rock singers. Broken similes are burned into my mind: “like superheroes laying in the hay”; “like a vasectomy of the mind”.  Occasionally, listeners are treated to a noteworthy progression or compositional choice, only to have that choice ruined by forced rhymes and awkward delivery. The organic percussion is not good. Due to some deranged tag-team effect, any given moment wherein the listener can drown out the percussion is briskly filled by the sounds of a new producer discovering stock plug-ins for the first time. Grave Digger is probably the best track.
I wrote everything above the line a month ago [adding distance pt. 5?] and then I moved to California and didn’t follow through with my internet promises as quickly as I would have liked to. Sorry. I am not going to edit what I wrote above but I listened to the album again and it’s really not as bad as I said it was. I was probably in a bad mood. I mean I’m not gonna bump this album all the time but the precussive elements are sometimes interesting in a “this-percussion-doesn’t-sound-like-a-palette-I’m-used-to-hearing-often” kind of way. You’re probably not a bad guy. Being a good piano player is a lost art and I respect that you are lost. Peace.

2 thoughts on “ALBUM REVIEW: You Are The Song That Humanized Me by Fader

  1. You clearly prejudged this kid in his email by his age and access to technology and then went back on your word to say you actually kind of liked the album anyways? What was the point of me even reading this review to end it with you not even making up your mind or spending a proper amount of time to accurately judge this album. I might as well just listen to it myself. If you’re not going to take the time to make a fully developed opinion then you are disservicing your entire fan base with a faulty review. This was honestly the most half assed review I’ve probably ever read and was clearly just written for shock value and not actual merit.


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