ALBUM REVIEW: Carbon Jacket by Carbon Jacket

By: Derek Spencer

Brand & Marketing Guide for Carbon Jacket

Social Media

  • Acceptable words to describe upcoming shows: “sweet, tight, packed, DIY, exciting, new, rad, sold-out, amped, raw, uncensored, unsafe for adults, maxxxed out, tunes.”
  • Unacceptable words to describe upcoming shows: “shitty, uninteresting, garage, stupid, for babies, mangled, terrible, unsightly, educational, 10 hours long.”
  • Post one Facebook anecdote per month about what happens when band practice gets a little to crazy. Don’t forget the “lol.”
  • Retweet tweets from: Imagine Dragons (ironically), Less Than Jake (unironically), Kim Kierkegaardashian, Rand Paul, Fender, Zen Quotes Daily, and Southwest Airlines
  • Sample facebook post: “Rock’n’Roll is alive and well! 1 share=1 rockin tune.”

Viral Marketing

  • Paint the lyrics from your sweet track “Wonderful Day To Fly” on your bodies, go skydiving, take Polaroid pictures, tape them onto the windows of public transit buses, write a clever hashtag like #CarbonFly2015 on the back of the photos.
  • Buy an expensive grand piano, create a video of drummer Thomas Cruz mercilessly smashing the piano with a variety of hammers while shouting things like “The old tunes are dying” and  “Carbon Jacket is the best and will usher in a new epoch of tunes.”
  • Take out ads on popular porn websites, advertising for “Ravenous 50+ sex meetup near you!”.  List the time and address of your next show.
  • Get your video camera and go around the suburbs messing up/putting gum in people’s hair.  Promise to fix their hair if they say “Carbon Jacket’s got the tunes!” while looking directly into the camera without laughing.  Discard this footage directly after.

Fashion & Public Demeanor

  • Antonio Aguas- Dress like your bowling team kicked you out for putting silly puddy in the other teams fingerholes.  On stage, twiddle your thumbs and spit repeatedly during instrumental sections.
  • Thomas Cruz- Chains everywhere. Chew gum aggressively during interviews. Threaten to skullbash anyone who talks shit about Antonio cause “we’ve been through some shit.”
  • Julian Jansson- Your thing is that you are a sailormoon cosplayer who got kidnapped by the band and forced to play guitar.  In between songs, say things like “I don’t want to be here!” or “I really don’t want to be in this band, but I can’t escape all the tunes!”
  • Luke Montalvo- Call yourself “The Count” and insist that you are the only member of the band who has “peered through the keyhole at the gates of perception”.  Release solo project cassette tapes and chuck them at your bandmates when they mess up on stage.

Final Verdict: The bottom of the barrel, crowned victor over a garage stuffed with corpses.  Rock is dead/long live rock.  Age is a construct and your new god too.

Pitchfork Verdict: 4.2

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3 thoughts on “ALBUM REVIEW: Carbon Jacket by Carbon Jacket

  1. Interesting comment to make here that the band has potentially come upon tough times with their latest EP, Nodern, sharing that “this is what happens when our singer doesn’t show up to practice.” We are left with four *truly* Carbon Jacket tracks (https://carbonjacketmusic.bandcamp.com/album/nodern-ep) melding together the collective force of 1,000 rehearsal rooms turned to level-maximum with the improvisational finesse of a fermented lemonade. The writer is inclined to believe that the April 1, 2015 release date is simply coincidence, but perhaps I am fooled in my understanding of what a truly Nodern improvisation really is.

    Singer Antonio Aguas appears to make the front cover of this latest EP which is either a really great “I buried Paul…” moment or a signal that not showing up to practice doesn’t have to mean you’re out of the band. Perhaps we are all in the band?

    Stepping back a little here – my favourite “Carbon Jacket”ism? Song endings with finishes so tight you’d thought it wasn’t really an improvisation.

    Like

    1. The singer referred to here is actually me. We started the band way back in ninth grade, but around our junior year I wasn’t able to make it to the practices anymore. As a result, Julian Janssen and Luke Montalvo, the other two original founders, moved Antonio Aguas to singer and drafted our friend Thomas Cruz to play drums/keyboard.

      I still help out from time to time. I have given a few tips to Antonio for his vocals. With all of us now in different colleges, the band in currently on hiatus.

      Like

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